People are naive until they suffer from any tragedy and I realized I am also one of them. How can you define this word ‘suffering’! There have been many who defined it easily Buddha, Zen philosophers, sages but to get to the real meaning you have to really acknowledge the pain you have been going through. I read many books, talked to many people but suffering didn’t go away and in the end I based my decisions on the suffering and created more suffering. One day I decided to list down ways to suffer in my life they are as follows:
- To take a risk : Risks fail they create suffering
- To not to take risk: You regret you didn’t take the chance, it would have been wonderful if it would have been successful
- To fall in love: You suffer if you don’t understand love and make it an attachment
- To fall in attachment: It creates expectation, not necessary they will be fulfilled
- To try not to expect in attachment: To prove it is real love, you try to become saintly which you are not. I tried to gave up expectations which is stupid and created disastrous level suffering.
- Try to make it right against self: Self sacrificing should be crime. Nobody should come to the point to think about self sacrificing neither demand from other for the same. Unfortunately I did, thinking it will make everything okay and happiness will come running to my door but no that’s just not true, it lead to next point
- Try to seek attention for what I did:
Self sacrificing always demands attention not a person would say look at me but through various things. Self sacrificing consist of two people you and the person you sacrificed to. And here is the truth the person doesn’t want you or your sacrifice or you wouldn’t have come to this point if so. So you are just playing with yourself, seeking attention by hurting the person. - To hurt another person: I never realized how bad I could be until I did hurt someone emotionally. And to admit that would be my greatest suffering because it lead me to the last point-
- To hurt myself: No I don’t mean physically, when you hurt someone you are the one who gets hurt because then you start understanding little bit of real love. In my case, I was the chicken who couldn’t say “NO”
And yes this continues in million ways and causes millions of sufferings. People write many thesis and poems, all I could do is to write what I understood. In this process I forgot the basic and only true way to make yourself suffer on deepest level-
10. To not to be true to yourself : Every other reason just revolves around this but they are just reasons, excuses. Nobody accepts excuses, surely not our souls. Fact is what your soul wants. What our soul wants really, actually should make decisions more clearer and won’t directly lead us to happiness but at least not make us suffer like our heart is squeezed and making you feel out of breathe all the time.
